Posts Tagged ‘night’

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Crummy Ass Clip Show! ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas (Worms: Reloaded Review)

April 1, 2012

First Posted: December 23, 2011

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a worm soldier was stirring, not even Lt. Krauss
The ammo sacks were hung by the fireplace with care
In hopes that exploding sheep soon would be there

The Privates were nestled all snug in their cots
While visions of petrol bombs danced in their thoughts
And I in my eye-shade and Cap in his cap
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap

When out by the walls there arose such a clatter
I sprang in my jetpack to see what was the matter
Away to the outpost I flew with a flash
Pulled off the gas cap and poured out the gas

For down by the wall in the full moon’s bright light
My eyes beheld a most terrible sight
A rusty jalopy was rambling by
Its rusty old trunk filled with supplies

The driver of course was Mr. Martyn Brown
A man whose name carried certain renown
“Worms: Reloaded for sale!” he cheerfully cried
“It’s just not that good,” I dejectedly sighed

“It’s just like the others, at much higher price,”
“Although, some new weapons are admittedly nice,”
“But the one-player campaign’s a pain in the ass,”
“The enemies never miss, it’s such a morass!”

These few comments had him seeing red
And steam very nearly shot out of his head
“This game was never meant to be played alone!”
“You play it with friends, online or in home!”

“Well then, why have one player mode at all,”
“If you mean for up to four players to brawl?”
“It’s not worth the money, play the others instead,”
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed.”

This seemed to confound him, for a moment he faltered
And then, in an instant, his expression had altered
He ran to his Gremlin and jumped in the seat
His head hung in shame, he realized his defeat

“Now three liter, now I6, now Borg-Werner manual,”
“On Goodyear, on drivetrain, on beloved water spaniel!”
“On to the highway! On to the road!”
“On to drop off this big, fat load!”

His tires just spun, and his car did fishtail
He pulled on the wheel, all to no avail
He caught traction and cried as he sped towards the well
“Merry Christmas to all, I shall see you in hell!”

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‘Twas The Night Before Christmas (Worms: Reloaded review)

December 23, 2011

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a worm soldier was stirring, not even Lt. Krauss
The ammo sacks were hung by the fireplace with care
In hopes that exploding sheep soon would be there

The Privates were nestled all snug in their cots
While visions of petrol bombs danced in their thoughts
And I in my eye-shade and Cap in his cap
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap

When out by the walls there arose such a clatter
I sprang in my jetpack to see what was the matter
Away to the outpost I flew with a flash
Pulled off the gas cap and poured out the gas

For down by the wall in the full moon’s bright light
My eyes beheld a most terrible sight
A rusty jalopy was rambling by
Its rusty old trunk filled with supplies

The driver of course was Mr. Martyn Brown
A man whose name carried certain renown
“Worms: Reloaded for sale!” he cheerfully cried
“It’s just not that good,” I dejectedly sighed

“It’s just like the others, at much higher price,”
“Although, some new weapons are admittedly nice,”
“But the one-player campaign’s a pain in the ass,”
“The enemies never miss, it’s such a morass!”

These few comments had him seeing red
And steam very nearly shot out of his head
“This game was never meant to be played alone!”
“You play it with friends, online or in home!”

“Well then, why have one player mode at all,”
“If you mean for up to four players to brawl?”
“It’s not worth the money, play the others instead,”
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed.”

This seemed to confound him, for a moment he faltered
And then, in an instant, his expression had altered
He ran to his Gremlin and jumped in the seat
His head hung in shame, he realized his defeat

“Now three liter, now I6, now Borg-Werner manual,”
“On Goodyear, on drivetrain, on beloved water spaniel!”
“On to the highway! On to the road!”
“On to drop off this big, fat load!”

His tires just spun, and his car did fishtail
He pulled on the wheel, all to no avail
He caught traction and cried as he sped towards the well
“Merry Christmas to all, I shall see you in hell!”

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Late August Clusterf**k Über-Review – Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, The Fifth Element, Tycoon City: New York, Poker Night At the Inventory, Chrono Trigger

August 31, 2011

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is based on a novel (written in two parts for Rolling Stone magazine), itself based on two trips taken by Hunter S. Thompson and his lawyer, Oscar Zeta Acosta (going by the pseudonyms Raul Duke and Dr. Gonzo, respectively) into Las Vegas. The first, a job for Sports Illustrated to cover the Mint 400 desert race, quickly devolves into a festival of an array of drugs, alcohol, hallucination, paranoia, and the freakish neon of the American Sin City. The second trip, to cover the National DA’s Association conference on drugs for Rolling Stone, gets out of hand when Dr. Gonzo brings along a young lady named Lucy who he gave LSD while on the plane.

They put her up in a hotel before her trip ends, and do their best to avoid her while attending the speech about the dangers of marijuana and covertly doing cocaine. They head back to their hotel, where Gonzo deals with Lucy over the phone by pretending to be beaten by thugs while Duke tries to unwind by doing some of Gonzo’s adrenochrome, which turns him into a babbling, incoherent mess before collapsing.

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Review: Good Night & Good Luck and Tropico

June 24, 2011

Well, not too much going on right now. This review’s going up on time, Part 8 of my Battlefield Vietnam Let’s Play will go up as soon as I remember where I put my microphone, and I’ve got something special in mind for July, but you’ll find out about that tomorrow. Anyway, here’s Good Night, and Good Luck and Tropico.

Back in 1953, there were a few notable things going on in America. The Korean War was coming to a close, Wisconsin senator Joe McCarthy was hunting communists and finding them everywhere, and the big three networks (ABC, NBC, CBS) decided to take on the newspapers with their own news programs. One of the most famous of these was See It Now, hosted by journalism legend Edward R. Murrow.

The movie, told mostly in flashback, focuses on Murrow and his team at CBS taking on Joe McCarthy over an Air Force pilot from Chicago who was forced to retire because his father supposedly had ties to communism. I say supposedly because the charges and all the evidence were delivered to the court in a sealed envelope that was never opened. Despite the objections of his boss, on the grounds that CBS sponsor Alcoa relies heavily on government contracts, they run the piece and wait for the phones to start ringing. The tension builds to near the bursting, at which point someone in the back of the room asks if he should turn the phones back on.

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