Posts Tagged ‘june’


Review: Delocated

June 14, 2012

Delocated, as with much of [adult swim] fare, is a weird show. And in the same way, too, this strangeness comes from the premise. It is ostensibly a reality show centered around “Jon”, a member of the witness protection program now living in New York City after testifying against the Mafiya.

That’s not the weird part. Well, yeah, it’s weird, but there’s more to the show that’s weird. Before we get into this episode, let me summarize the third season. “Jon”‘s wife is killed, the Russian Mob frames him for both making mouth-love to a sandwich and murdering a member of a Triad tong “Jon” was using for protection, and the Chinese gangsters stand on the edge of war with the Russian Mob.

And then we see “Jon” waking up in a gray and orange half-shirt, a trucker cap, and orange zebra striped pants. As it turns out, the bar that has it’s label on the shirt and cap was the setting for a “public impulse therapy session”. Or in lay terms, they got drunk as fuck on shots and he doesn’t remember a thing. Also, there was a Girls Gone Wild parody taping in the bar, Ladies Done Gone Nuts. After his therapist advises him to be impulsive, “Jon” pulls up the balaclava he uses to hide his face.

As with most plot-based things, I’m not going to give away the end, but suffice it to say Delocated mixes just the right amount of drama and comedy for my tastes.


Review: Loiter Squad

June 10, 2012

I will say this for the show – it’s a lot more coherent than the impression I got from the promos. What I expected was fifteen solid minutes of random bullshit in the style of those bad YouTube videos where a bunch of dickheads do dickheadish things while one dickhead laughs at the other dickhead while that dickhead gets hurt but sadly isn’t crippled for life. What I got was two or three main sketches broken up with a few mini-skits.

For instance, the episode I saw started off with a Jackass parody called Blackass, with one of them claiming that he’s going to kick his father’s ass all day. He bursts in on his father on the toilet and promptly gets shot in the knee.

I really wish I were joking.

The second main sketch series focuses on a video game, Kung Fu Lookin’ Ass Ninjas, which is a more or less straight parody of Mortal Kombat. And the final main series revolves around a beef between two gangsta rappers, Young N**** and Young Gunshot, sparked by a Dreamcast copy of, fittingly enough, Kung Fu Lookin’ Ass Ninjas.

I was wrong about this show. It’s still not my thing, and I’ll probably never actively watch another episode, but it’s not nearly as dumb as I initially thought. I really blame Adult Swim on this one, because the ads made it seem a lot dumber.


Review: The Eric Andre Show

June 8, 2012

The Eric Andre Show in a phrase: what is this i dont even

But, since I can’t in good conscience post a thirteen word review, I’m going to go over what happens. Eric Andre comes in and does the most thorough job I’ve ever seen of trashing a set. This is actually pretty good, up until the part where he starts squirting ketchup and mustard into his crotch and splashing a restrained man with boiling water.

It should be noted that I didn’t skip a step there. He goes from trashing the set to condiment crotch to boiling water.

And then we see him dressed in a powdered wig and colonial clothes claiming to be Thomas Jefferson and motorboting a large black strippers butt. From there, back to the studio where they have Tatyana Ali and he and Hannibal Burress are asking what she’s doing later. Other highlights include Eric Andre and Hannibal Burress trying to start a band while filling time for a guest they couldn’t get, the pair offering white hoods and miniature Confederate flags to a meeting of Tea Party members, and a song by fake Shirley Temple.

On the whole, the show isn’t bad. It’s weird, sure, but it’s a different kind of weird than Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job!. Where Tim and Eric seem (to me; all of this is opinion) to deal in a sort of ironic un-comedy, The Eric Andre Show is a little more…normal, for lack of a better word. I don’t know what it is, but it feels like the humor’s gone through a refining process, that all the actions were planned out. I don’t know. I might be inclined to check this out again in the future.


Coming Attractions: June 2012

June 5, 2012

I hope everyone enjoyed Sequel Month; God knows I didn’t. And here’s something else I’m probably going to hate. For a couple of months now, I’ve been wondering what the appeal is of [adult swim]’s live-action series. So I’ve decided to find out.

June 8th: I take a look at Adult Swim’s latest live-action series, The Eric Andre Show, which seems aimed square at the Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job! style of comedy

June 10th: Another newcomer, Loiter Squad, which has been described as a combination of Jackass and Chappelle’s Show.

June 14th: I’ll be on vacation at Walt Disney World, so I’ll be covering a show I actually have a few episodes of on my computer, Delocated.

June 22nd: A rare, planned triple-feature, showcasing Children’s HospitalEagleheart, and NTSF:SD:SUV::, in the interest of getting this over with.


Review: Driv3r (aka Driver 3)

June 2, 2012

So, Driver 3.

I have no idea whatsoever what happens in this game. It starts out in Istanbul, Turkey with an incredibly confusing firefight involving people we haven’t seen yet because we’ve been playing (or rather, watching a movie) for about thirty seconds. Two people involved end up in the hospital and one of them dies, and I can’t tell what the doctors and nurses are saying because they’re speaking Turkish and there are no subtitles. So, to recap, something happened, I’ll be damned if I know what, and then we jump back to Miami, six months earlier.

And then the game proper starts, with undercover FBI agent Tanner at home being called into the Miami Police Station, presumably to assist with a case. This is as far as I got in the game, which I attribute to the controls being, to borrow a phrase from Ben Croshaw, “pants on head retarded”. Oh, I have a list.

It starts with not being able to change controls in the middle of a game, a mechanic I describe as “Seriously? Oh, fuck this shit.” This naturally means that once you find something stupid in the controls, after staring slack-jawed for a moment or two, you have to exit out of your current game, back to the main menu, go down to settings, get into the controls, change the stupid setting, save the one that makes sense (because if you just hit escape, it reverts to its dumb-as-hell default), back out of the controls, out of the settings, out of options, back to the main menu, start a new game, hit spacebar to jump past the cinematics you’ve seen already, start playing again, run into another idiotic control, and finally quit in a huff.

On to the controls that I found particularly dumb. The least of these is inverted y-axis on the mouse. Some people like it, I just happen to find it annoying. But that’s just a personal issue. The dumbest thing, and the one that made me say “fuck it” after accidentally hitting escape after fixing it, was the vehicle controls. The vehicle controls aren’t WASD. They aren’t the arrow keys. They aren’t even ANY FOUR KEYS IN THAT GENERAL SHAPE. No, they had to spit in the face of the established gaming standards, and go with Z and X for left and right, <.> for gas and </> for brake and reverse. What in the everloving fuck.

But, like an idiot, I just now decided to go back and give it another shot. This time, I actually got to the police station (using standard WASD controls, thank you very much), although when I got there I discovered that firing your gun isn’t mapped to left mouse, LIKE IT IS IN EVERY GAME INVOLVING GUNS SINCE THE LATE NINETIES. Fuck. This. Shit.

The graphics are, frankly, sub-par, and I find it clear that they wanted to show off their sunlight system (which, BTW, doesn’t even work right, painting Tanner in a thin coat of white) that they skimped on models and textures, the animations, while not as bad as Rockstar implied, aren’t exactly anything special, and DEAR GOD THE CONTROLS. If you absolutely have to play Driv3r, do it on a PlayStation 2 where it belongs.


Review: Good Night & Good Luck and Tropico

June 24, 2011

Well, not too much going on right now. This review’s going up on time, Part 8 of my Battlefield Vietnam Let’s Play will go up as soon as I remember where I put my microphone, and I’ve got something special in mind for July, but you’ll find out about that tomorrow. Anyway, here’s Good Night, and Good Luck and Tropico.

Back in 1953, there were a few notable things going on in America. The Korean War was coming to a close, Wisconsin senator Joe McCarthy was hunting communists and finding them everywhere, and the big three networks (ABC, NBC, CBS) decided to take on the newspapers with their own news programs. One of the most famous of these was See It Now, hosted by journalism legend Edward R. Murrow.

The movie, told mostly in flashback, focuses on Murrow and his team at CBS taking on Joe McCarthy over an Air Force pilot from Chicago who was forced to retire because his father supposedly had ties to communism. I say supposedly because the charges and all the evidence were delivered to the court in a sealed envelope that was never opened. Despite the objections of his boss, on the grounds that CBS sponsor Alcoa relies heavily on government contracts, they run the piece and wait for the phones to start ringing. The tension builds to near the bursting, at which point someone in the back of the room asks if he should turn the phones back on.

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Late Ass Review: Pale Rider and Call of Juarez

June 21, 2011

Yeah. I’m thinking the same thing that you all are: It’s about time I got my shit in gear and got last week’s review done. I’m kind of pissed at myself for not getting this done earlier. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t had the time. I just keep getting distracted by the wealth of PC games I have, and well…I’ve been procrastinating.

Anyway, all my fault. Here’s Pale Rider and Call of Juarez.

I’m not usually a fan of westerns, but I am a fan of Clint Eastwood. In fact, that’s a good way to get me to go. Pale Rider is just such a movie. It starts out with a group of miners near the town of Lahood, California being terrorized by a gang of thugs sent by major mine operator Coy LaHood. After the thugs kill a girl’s dog, she prays to God for help, which arrives in the form of Clint Eastwood.

Eastwood’s character, known in the film as “The Preacher” due to his style of dress and that he arrives unarmed, helps the miners by keeping the thugs out peacefully, and by panning for gold with them. He later meets with Coy LaHood and his son Josh. After negotiations, LaHood offers $1000 per claim, which the miners ultimately refuse.

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