Posts Tagged ‘back’

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Lingerie Football League

October 22, 2011

Well, I took some time off, but I have to admit, it feels good to be back. I’ve grieved, felt better, and ultimately, it is kind of a relief knowing that she isn’t in any more pain.

Anyway, on to the matter at hand. Lingerie Football.

I want you, just y’know, as you think of this concept, just ask yourself one question: “Is this really necessary?”

Now, I don’t mean in the sense of athletic competition, because that’s not the point of this. No one’s really watching this for the athletics, just like no one’s watching wrestling for the story and the behind the scenes politics (Take the hint, TNA iMPACT Impact Wrestling). So, if we accept the fact that everyone watching is just in it for the boobs and the butts, it still doesn’t make any sense because there are much easier ways to see hot women.

The internet, for example. The internet is absolutely jam packed full of pictures of ladies (and men, and women with man-parts. I’ve seen some sick shit, and you DO NOT want links.) in various states of undress. Really, with just the sheer amount of pictures and videos and even a few games catering to any number of fetishes, if you’re resorting to lingerie football for sexual gratification, get an external hard drive and stock up.

The only people I can imagine this holding any attraction for is that small subsection that has enough money to afford cable, but doesn’t have any kind of internet connection, and if you’re in this group how are you reading this are you a wizard?

Anyway, I’ve got that off my chest. For Halloween, I’ll be taking a look at a TV movie that was part of my childhood, The Halloween Tree. I haven’t actually seen this one on in quite a while, I’m not even sure it’s being broadcast anymore. I think it might have fallen by the wayside in favor of classics like the Peanuts special.

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Review: Back to the Future Season 2 and OUTATIME

July 30, 2011

And so we come to the end of this long month of Back to the Future,  and I can honestly say I’m glad. I have a great love of Back to the Future, but even something you love can get can get tiring after five straight weeks. I never thought it would happen, but I think I’m actually done with Back to the Future for a while. So, without further ado, here it is.

Season two of the animated series is very similar to the first season. In fact, the base format is the same: short intro from Christopher Lloyd, the cartoon itself, and Christopher Lloyd and Bill Nye doing science. The two biggest changes are the opening sequence, which now has clips from the first season of the show, and the experiments done at the end of the show, which take a more dangerous turn. The first episode’s experiment is making a cannon out of a two liter bottle, vinegar, baking soda, and a cork. I’d like to point out that if you put the cork on too tight, it stops being a cannon and starts being a bomb. This is only two ingredients different from a dry ice bomb.

Or the second episode’s experiment, which involves using a ball of clay, a baseball, and some string to simulate gravity, and possibly break a neighbor’s window or a sibling’s teeth. I’m starting to think this may be why the show got canceled. Hitting your sister in the face with a baseball is considered by most parents groups to be a bad thing. Not that I’ve had any first hand experience or anything…

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Review: Back to the Future Season 1 and Episode IV

July 24, 2011

I, like many people, was completely unaware that there was a Back to the Future cartoon, but there were two seasons on CBS in the early nineties. And I’m going to look at both of them for you. This is Season 1 and Episode IV: Double Visions.

Like all cartoons in the early nineties, Back to the Future: The Animated Series incorporated educational elements in with the core cartoon. Unlike all other cartoons, these educational segments contained the powerful one-two punch of Christopher Lloyd, reprising his role as Doc Brown, and Bill Nye, who actually conducted these mini-experiments. These experiments, on things like creating a small electromagnet from a nail or making a lemon battery, or lessons on water pressure or drag, are safe enough to preform at home that the viewers would immediate wake the nearest sleeping parent to ask them for help.

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Super Late Ass Review: Back to the Future Part III and Episode III: Citizen Brown

July 18, 2011

Alright, let’s get down to business. We’re all here for one reason, and that’s to tie up the trilogy in suitably epic fashion. Before I start, though, there are just a few things I want to say about Part III. Now, it’s nothing against Gale and Zemeckis, but I never really understood the whole idea of the genre shift in this one. And after the way the first two parts dealt mainly with a sixty year time span (1955, 1985, 2015),  it’s only more jarring the way that we spend almost the entirety of this movie a century from where we left. And adding to the problem, the movie always feels rushed to me, despite it’s hour and fifty-three minute run time, although that could just be a natural effect of the nostalgia filter and a secret desire to not see the series end.

Anyway, nevermind all that, let’s get on to the story!

We open on the clock tower scene that is in both other movies (with good reason), picking up at the end of part II. The Delorean hits the wire and disappears in a flash of light, leaving only twin fire trails and celebratory Doc Brown behind. And then, Marty (that is, the Marty who came to 1955 to keep Biff from becoming all-powerful in 1985A) rounds the corner, tells Doc that he’s come back from the future, at which Doc promptly passes out in shock. Marty drives him home in Doc’s Packard, starts a fire in the fireplace, and puts their socks and shoes (and the note that 1985 Doc sent Marty from 1885) in front of it to dry.

When Doc wakes at seven (thanks to the TV that Marty left on), he begins to record his notes about sending the Delorean back, until the immediate aftermath which he can’t remember. When Marty wakes up and gathers Doc’s letter to show him, 1955!Doc completely loses it and begins treating Marty like he did in the first movie, even back to calling him “Future boy”. Marty has to explain the events of the second half of Part II to Doc through the door to convince him, and eventually shows him the letter. 1985!Doc reveals through his letter that he has set up a blacksmith shop as a front to try to repair the time circuits, but was unable due to a lack of proper replacement parts.

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Review: Back to the Future Part II and Episode II

July 8, 2011

Wow, time sure flies when you’re not paying any attention and it’s too dark out to see the sun because of all the thunderstorms.

Anyway, Back to the Future Part II and Episode II: Get Tannen! Honestly, Part II is my absolute favorite of all of the Back to the Future movies. The actors seem more comfortable in their roles, in particular the way Christopher Lloyd really gets a chance to play up Doc Brown and his constant wild gestures. In Part I, Marty was really the focus of the story (what with being trapped thirty years in the past and all), and Doc was really given more of a supporting role relative to Marty. In Part II, Doc and Marty work more as a team, and they’re both on screen for roughly the same amount of time, so it’s really much more of a partnership than a hero-sidekick relationship like Part I.

The storyline’s also been given a kick in the ass. Part I was really about the misadventures of an average teenager (with a hot as hell girlfriend and the fingers of a rock and roll legend, but I digress) who winds up flung into the past and must reunite his parents with the help of his future absent-minded professor friend. Part II is really a lot more character driven, and thus a whole lot darker, showcasing a lot of the dangers of time travel that Part I didn’t really have the scope to mention. Here, Marty’s family is a lot better off (due to his actions in the 50s) but no less screwed up, and by way of Marty’s actions in 2015 and Old Biff’s actions back in the 50s, his life quickly goes to hell, as does the rest of Hill Valley (but I’ll cover that later).

Anyway, I’m sorry for making you read through all that before getting to the actual review, but like I said, I have a history with this series.

Part II picks up exactly where Part I (at least the DVD release) left off. Marty gets up at half past ten after a very hectic week thirty years in the past, to find his life drastically improved. His sister is a hit with the guys, his brother works at an office building instead of Burger King, his parents are in better shape than they ever were in the original timeline, and he has that bitchin’ truck from the start of Part I, and Jennifer is all ready for their date that night. They lean in for a kiss…and Doc shows up in the Delorean, freshly outfitted with a Mr. Fusion (100% reduction in Libyan Terrorists trying to kill you GUARANTEED!) and a hover-conversion (why drive when you can fly?), telling him that he needs Marty to come back with him (“Back where?” “Back to the future!”), and that it’s related to his and Jennifer’s kids. Meanwhile, Jennifer is just looking at this possibly crazy sixty plus year old man talking about her and Marty’s kids at some undetermined point in the future, and she is fucking lost. Read the rest of this entry ?

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Review: Back to the Future and Back to the Future Episode I

July 1, 2011

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this yet, but Back to the Future is one of my favorite movie series of all time. I tend to think of it like this: my dad had the Star Wars trilogy, and I have Back to the Future. It was really the first movie I could quote pretty much at will. It’s really one of those movies that I could watch seventeen times in a few weeks, like my dad did with Star Wars. And now that you know my history, let’s get on with the review.

So, as I’ve said, anything Back to the Future is like crack to me, especially the original. We start with our primary protagonist, Marty McFly, showing up at the home of his friend, local inventor Emmett “Doc” Brown. After Marty destroys Doc’s giant amp with the power of rock, Doc calls to ask Marty to meet him at the mall at one in the morning. Doc’s clocks (It’s fun to rhyme) all go off at once, with Doc revealing that they’re all twenty-five minutes slow, presumably due to some prior experiment, at which point Marty realizes he’s late for school.

He makes his way to school, where he’s promptly caught by Vice-Principal Strictland and given his fourth tardy slip in as many days. Strictland advises him to pull his band out of the dance auditions after school, as “no McFly ever amounted to anything in the history of Hill Valley.” We completely skip the school day to get to the dance auditions, judged by Huey Lewis of course, where, after a rather spirited rendition of “The Power of Love”, he’s told that his band is “just too darn loud”.

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Review: The Warriors and Back to the Future Episode II

March 4, 2011

 

A modern re-telling of Xenophon’s Anabasis, The Warriors pits nine men of the Coney Island gang, the Warriors, against all of the gangs of New York City as they make their way back home. And all of these gangs are out for the Warriors’ blood, because they’ve been falsely accused of murdering Cyrus, leader of the most powerful gang in the city, the Gramercy Riffs.

During a midnight meeting called by Cyrus, he is shot in the chest by Rogues leader Luther, played by David Patrick Kelly. He immediately accuses the Warriors of the murder, and they are forced to flee. Taking the subways and running on foot from the enemy, the Warriors must traverse the 30 miles from Van Cortlandt Park back to Coney in the course of one night.

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