Posts Tagged ‘31st’

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Review: Street Fighter

July 31, 2012

Ohhh, boy.

I’m going to get this out of the way now for anyone who doesn’t know, but Street Fighter is a failure of a movie. It is terrible in it’s acting, and my God is it ever glorious. If Mystery Science Theater 3000 had a budget of infinity dollars, this is the kind of movie they would be doing. I don’t think I’ve ever had a better time watching a worse movie.

So, let’s jump right in. The fictional South East Asian nation of Shadaloo is ruled over by General M. Bison, a ruthless dictator who has captured several dozen aid workers. He demands a twenty million dollar ransom from the Allied Nations regional commander, Colonel William Guile of the United States Air Force, or he will kill the hostages and the world (in his words) will hold the Allied Nations responsible.

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Review: Demolition Man

July 31, 2012

Y’know, any time you get Sylvester Stallone and Wesley Snipes together, someone’s going to bring up Demolition Man. And then some nerdy GTA fanboy (Yo.) will bring up how Demolition Man was also the name of the mission in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City where you had to use the toy helicopter to blow up the building.

Unfortunately, the movie Demolition Man has nothing to do with blowing up buildings. Wait, no, that’s a lie. At the start of the movie, Officer John Spartan of the LAPD goes into a building to rescue hostages from a crimelord named Simon Phoenix, and then Phoenix sets off his explosives and brings the building down, with the hostages still inside. Interesting side note; the name of the movie comes from the nickname of Stallone’s character, the demolition man, because it seems like any time he goes in to a situation, something winds up exploding. Which forces me to ask, why would they send in someone notorious for being a walking explosion to rescue hostages?

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Review: SimCity Societies

March 31, 2012

So Tuesday was wasted watching an utter crapload of Zero Punctuation, Wednesday was spent on getting The Sims 3 installed and updated, and so today I finally get back to work. And we come back with SimCity Societies, and before you accuse me of choosing it for today because the first time I saw a review of The Ugly Truth (Film Brain’s review, incidentally), I could only make it five minutes in before I found something in the film that pissed me off to the point of not wanting to watch it anymore, and I’m trying to put it off for as long as I can, you’re right.

Well, on to the topic at hand. I’ll be honest, when I first saw SimCity Societies, I was furious. When I explain this, you have to understand, I’ve been a SimCity player since old times. I still have SimCity for the Super Nintendo. I had two specific problems with Societies: The first was that Tilted Mill Entertainment, not Maxis, was developing it, and the second was that it entirely changed the feel of the game. Read the rest of this entry ?

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Review: The Halloween Tree

October 31, 2011

Ah, Halloween – a night unlike any other. People get to dress in a most unusual manner, children get candy just by knocking, and for reasons that are still unclear to me, women dress up in sexy outfits, most of them just skimpy versions of real work uniforms (such as sexy nurse, sexy police officer, and one that really boggles me, sexy nun). Of course, I’m not here to talk about the way Halloween is celebrated today. Tonight, we delve into a story about Halloween’s origins, based on a story by and narrated by Ray Bradbury, and featuring Leonard Nimoy, The Halloween Tree.

The film starts as Bradbury tells of a small town somewhere in the Pacific Northwest, where four friends are preparing to go trick-or-treating with their friend and local legend Joseph “Pip” Pipkin. Jenny, who’s going as a witch, Ralph, going as a mummy, Wally as a monster, and Tom Skeleton as a skeleton. They meet up at the crossroads, and when Pip doesn’t show, they figure he must be tricking them.

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