Posts Tagged ‘28th’

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Review: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past

August 28, 2012

Well, this is certainly late as hell. But, I actually do have a good excuse for it, that excuse being a new, two-month old puggle puppy. Also, training said puggle puppy to not go to the bathroom in the house. And having to take the puppy with me when I go to sleep so she doesn’t cry all night.

But enough about that, let’s talk about The Legend of Zelda. The seminal series was launched in 1986 by Takashi Tezuka and Shigeru Miyamoto, partially based on Miyamoto’s childhood exploring the hills, lakes, and caves around his home in Sonobe, Kyoto (it was the late 50’s/early 60’s – kids wandered around a lot more back then). The Legend of Zelda was insanely successful, making main character Link one of the icons of Nintendo. The sequel, Zelda II: The Adventure of Link, also proved popular, advancing the overall storyline despite the change from overhead to 2D sidescrolling and a lives system.

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Review: Fable III

December 28, 2011

Gather ’round friends and I shall tell the tale of the Hero of Albion. Once, many years ago, the Old Kingdom was governed by men called the Archons. The first Archon’s rule was peaceful, and his people were prosperous. But slowly the source of the Archon’s power, the Sword of Aeons, began to corrupt him. Soon, the land fell into ruin, each city controlling their lands. The Hero of Albion was but a boy when his home town of Oakvale was attacked by the Jack of Blades.

Under the tutelage of the old hero Maze, the Hero of Albion grew into a champion of the Heroes Guild and in time took his revenge on the Jack of Blades. The child would go on to become the new King of Albion, ruling for fifty years until, at the dawn of the age of industry, his death led to the takeover of the kingdom by his son, Logan, who rules the land with an iron hand. The people are unhappy with Logan’s policies. And so the Second Hero of Albion rose to cast off their brother and take control of the kingdom.

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Review: L.A. Noire

December 28, 2011

L.A. Noire is one of the most consistently positively reviewed games in recent memory. For the past year or so, people have been more or less gushing over it, with an 89 on metacritic and ranked twelfth in a class of two hundred forty on the Xbox 360. I’m not the type to read into reviews too much (which is a shame, because it would make writing them infinitely easier), but after some hands on experience, it’s pretty good.

You play as Cole Phelps, an honest cop in a corrupt city who served with the Marines as a lieutenant during World War II. The game consists of five police desks, each concerning a different area: Patrol, Traffic, Homicide, Vice, and Arson. The patrol desk serves as sort of a tutorial, showing the basics of movement and investigation, armed and unarmed combat, and interrogation and interview techniques. After four missions as a patrolman, he is promoted to the traffic desk, where he solves cases involving an abandoned car full of blood (the suspected victim faked his death), a hit and run (he was stabbed and pushed in front of a car), and an attempted murder dressed up as a car accident (they survived, and it wound up leading to a porn ring operating out of a prop house).

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Review: Spaceballs

September 28, 2011

Mel Brooks’ take on the Star Wars trilogy and sci-fi in general, Spaceballs!

President Skroob of Planet Spaceball has squandered all of his planet’s air, and as such hatches a plan to steal the air from nearby Druidia, a peaceful monarchy that still has arranged marriages and lives in castles despite personal spacecraft, by kidnapping Princess Vespa, daughter of King Roland, on the day of her arranged wedding to the extremely low-key Prince Valium.

This task is to be accomplished by the fearsome 5’4″ might of Dark Helmet and the inordinately large, possibly compensating for something Spaceball One, helmed by Colonel Sandurz of the Imperious Navy. Before they’re able to launch an attack on the wedding, Vespa flees her wedding with her Droid-of-Honor Dot Matrix. This unintentionally makes Dark Helmet’s task much, much easier, as Spaceball One simply intercepts her ship with a tractor beam.

Meanwhile, King Roland has gotten in touch with rogue pilot and mercenary Lone Starr and his mawg (half-man, half-dog. “I’m my own best friend!”) companion, Barf. The two catch up to the Spaceballs in their modified Winnebago, and rescue the princess and Dot Matrix from the ship after jamming Spaceball One’s radar (with raspberry jam, no less!). Shortly after escaping into hyperspace, the Winnebago runs out of fuel and crashes into the desert moon Vega, where they find the wise old magician Yogurt, who teaches Lone Starr the ways of the Schwartz.

Unfortunately, Dark Helmet manages to find them (through use of the videotape of Spaceballs, which if this weren’t a comedy film would completely destroy the universe), recapturing the princess and threatening to reverse her nose job in exchange for the code to the air shield surrounding Druidia (just go with it, it’s not like any of this is serious), which as it turns out, is the easiest password for anyone who passed kindergarten to figure out (12345, “That’s the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!” “12345? It’s amazing! I have the same password on my luggage!”). Long story short, Spaceball One transforms into a giant maid to suck the air from Druidia, Lone Starr and Barf fly in and destroy the ship, get a reward, and fly off. The find out that he’s a prince, go back to Druidia, and he marries the princess, “May The Schwartz Be With You”, the end.

Despite my abbreviated synopsis, this is a funny movie. The problem is most of the jokes are sight gags that don’t really translate that well into a text review. They’re funny enough, but you’ll have a hell of a time trying to explain them to your friends. So, check it out, it’s worth watching.

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Review: Weird Science & Back to the Future – Episode I

January 28, 2011

Weird Science is one of those few movies that seems to age well. It is one of the quintessential movies of the 1980s, standing strong alongside sci-fi comedy giants like Back to the Future and Short Circuit. The story is essentially a teenage version of Frankenstein, set in 80s suburban Illinois.

The film starts with Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) fantasizing about the girls in the gym. While they’re lost in thought, they are pantsed by school bullies Ian and Max, played by Robert Downey Jr. and Robert Rusler. After watching Frankenstein, they’re inspired to create a simulation of a woman, using Wyatt’s computer. A huge lightning storm throws the plan off, and their fantasy girl comes to life. Meanwhile, they have to deal with Wyatt’s brother Chet (Bill Paxton), home from military school and a weapons grade douche. Hijinks ensue, lessons are learned, and a good time is had by all.

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