Posts Tagged ‘17th’

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Review: Coming to America

April 17, 2012

And so, we come to the last of March’s reviews, and only seventeen days late! Coming to America is one of the great romantic comedies of recent times, surpassed possibly by only When Harry Met Sally. So you might be wondering, why choose this over one of the most iconic romantic comedies of all time? Eddie Murphy in his prime.

This film is Eddie Murphy at the top of his game. He’s just come off of Beverly Hills Cop II and Eddie Murphy RawBeverly Hills Cop III was still six years away, Bowfinger was still more than a decade off, and the less said about Norbit and Meet Dave, the better.

But there’s more to this movie than just Eddie Murphy. There’s a whole roster of stars: Arsenio Hall, James Earl Jones, Vanessa Bell, John Amos, Louie Anderson, Cuba Gooding, Jr., and Samuel L. “Motherfucking” Jackson. Hell, even Ralph Bellamy and Don Ameche reprise their roles from Trading Places, as the now-destitute Randolph and Mortimer Duke.

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Review: Saints Row 2

February 17, 2012

Y’know, sometimes it’s difficult to review games. Sure, it’s easy when games are good, and it’s also pretty easy, if a little painful, when games are bad. And then you get games that are kind of indescribable.

This is one of these games.

Let’s face the facts here, any review of Saints Row 2 is going to eventually bring up Grand Theft Auto. The games are very similar, and reviewers really don’t like to do a lot of writing or research. So  Random Modern Sandbox Game comes out? Compare it to Grand Theft Auto. This is GTA4 on crack. This is what would have resulted if Rockstar NYC had given Rockstar Toronto no limits beside no superpowers and no visible nudity, and a budget of infinity dollars.

The character creation mode is possibly the most insane part of the game. Yes, there are explosions, and the explosions are insane. But with the character creation, you can make practically anything, from the hideous…

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Review: The Love Guru

December 17, 2011

First off, the Philippine island of Mindanao has been hit by a tropical storm. So far, more than four hundred people are confirmed dead and another four hundred are currently missing. We pray that all of the missing will be found alive and well, but in the meantime, the Philippine Red Cross is working on relief efforts. You can donate at http://www.redcross.org.ph/donate.

So…the Love Guru. The likely explanation of why I haven’t seen much of Mike Meyers in film recently.

Let’s get a little backstory on this: In 2008, Michael Meyers was at the high point of his career. He’s just come off the third Shrek movie and a holiday special, and he’s on top of the world. And then, The Love Guru happened.

I actually missed the first half-hour of this movie, possibly due to subconsciously not wanting to watch it. The first thing that happens that I see? Mike Meyers being attacked by a rooster. And then having a martial arts fight with a French-Canadian. From what I understand, the titular Love Guru is trying to reunite a black hockey player with his wife.

You know what, I can call this one here. The only time a movie hurt me like this was Postal, and I sat through…most of that. I only made it through the second half of the first hour. I like to try to give a movie a chance, but this is just…just godawful. I’m not going to say right now that it’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen, but it is a very strong contender. I’d like to blame a lot of this on the script – I really would. But honestly, Mike Meyers is fucking terrible in this movie (God, I never thought I’d ever type those words). Every word out of his mouth is painful, and the vast majority of them are crude jokes about bodily functions and parts. In fact, there’s really only one part of the movie I actually enjoyed: Sportscaster Stephen Colbert. Not even Aasif Mandvi, Daniel Tosh, John Oliver, and a Beatles song could redeem this movie, something I know for a fact because all of them are in it. I’m going to go take a shower now and wash this movie off.

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Late Ass Review: Pale Rider and Call of Juarez

June 21, 2011

Yeah. I’m thinking the same thing that you all are: It’s about time I got my shit in gear and got last week’s review done. I’m kind of pissed at myself for not getting this done earlier. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t had the time. I just keep getting distracted by the wealth of PC games I have, and well…I’ve been procrastinating.

Anyway, all my fault. Here’s Pale Rider and Call of Juarez.

I’m not usually a fan of westerns, but I am a fan of Clint Eastwood. In fact, that’s a good way to get me to go. Pale Rider is just such a movie. It starts out with a group of miners near the town of Lahood, California being terrorized by a gang of thugs sent by major mine operator Coy LaHood. After the thugs kill a girl’s dog, she prays to God for help, which arrives in the form of Clint Eastwood.

Eastwood’s character, known in the film as “The Preacher” due to his style of dress and that he arrives unarmed, helps the miners by keeping the thugs out peacefully, and by panning for gold with them. He later meets with Coy LaHood and his son Josh. After negotiations, LaHood offers $1000 per claim, which the miners ultimately refuse.

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