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Review: Street Fighter

July 31, 2012

Ohhh, boy.

I’m going to get this out of the way now for anyone who doesn’t know, but Street Fighter is a failure of a movie. It is terrible in it’s acting, and my God is it ever glorious. If Mystery Science Theater 3000 had a budget of infinity dollars, this is the kind of movie they would be doing. I don’t think I’ve ever had a better time watching a worse movie.

So, let’s jump right in. The fictional South East Asian nation of Shadaloo is ruled over by General M. Bison, a ruthless dictator who has captured several dozen aid workers. He demands a twenty million dollar ransom from the Allied Nations regional commander, Colonel William Guile of the United States Air Force, or he will kill the hostages and the world (in his words) will hold the Allied Nations responsible.

Meanwhile, Ryu Hoshi and Ken Masters attempt to sell fake weapons to Victor Sagat, who in turn plans to kill them by making them fight Vega. The plan is interrupted by Guile and AN forces breaking in to arrest everyone for breaking curfew. He convinces Ryu and Ken to participate in a fake breakout to get into Bison’s organization, while at the same time faking his own death.

This is about half way through the movie, and the rest is pretty much a series of fights. Guile does eventually beat Bison…OR DOES HE?! Well, yes, yes he does. Dee Jay and Sagat flee with a trunk full of worthless Bisondollars, Zangief joins the AN forces after being told that Bison is the bad guy, the hostages are rescued, and Bison’s base explodes.

And now comes the part where I break the movie down. Just give me a few minutes to stop laughing hysterically. Oh, it’s bad alright. Let me count the ways. The casting is a little WTF, especially Jean-Claude Van Damme playing an American Air Force colonel, the plot started out far too fragmented for my taste, what with Guile and Cammy, Ryu and Ken, and Chun-Li, E. Honda and Balrog all having separate paths to the ending, and Raul Julia is amazingly over the top as M. Bison.  It’s so strong that it actually has a taste to it, and it is delicious.

If you haven’t seen it yet, go do so as soon as possible. Raul Julia is worth it.

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