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Review: The Three Stooges and Multi-Theft Auto

May 7, 2012

First, I want to thank everyone for their patience with me. It has been a long-ass couple of months, but I’m working on wrapping up the last reviews of April now. But, for now, here’s this. Last weekend (this would be April 29th), I saw The Three Stooges. Now that a week has passed, I feel comfortable giving you a brief synopsis.

The Three Stooges

As babies, the stooges are left on the doorstep of the Sisters of Mercy Orphanage. At the age of ten, Moe is nearly adopted by a wealthy couple, but is taken back after he can’t bear to be separated from Larry and Curly, with the wealthy couple taking a fourth boy, Teddy, home. Over the course of thirty plus years, they cause the orphanage to rack up more than eight hundred thousand dollars in medical bills, so they must leave to make their way in the world to earn the money to save the orphanage.

Their first plan involves a woman named Lydia looking to to have her husband killed, she says, because he has a slow terminal illness. In reality, she stands to inherit his sizable wealth and intends to marry her lover, whom the trio mistake for her husband resulting in his being in traction in the hospital. The stooges go to finish the job, but are chased away by hospital staff, and upon their exit they meet the now-adult Teddy, who invites them to his anniversary party. The three then try their hands at farming salmon, by which I mean they put salmon on a golf course and water them. After security catches wind of this, the stooges get run off and wind up having a slapstick argument in front of a casting director for Jersey Shore, with Moe getting cast.

I firmly believe that this would be the only way to get me to watch Jersey Shore.

Without giving away the third act, they don’t get the money in time, but a new orphanage has been built nearby. If that doesn’t sound like there’s much in the way of plot, well, it’s not. But when it’s combined with classic Three Stooges style slapstick, it amounts to an enjoyable movie.

Multi-Theft Auto

The first version of Multi Theft Auto came out in 2003, and since then it’s gotten exponentially better. The latest version, 1.3, came out in January of this year. It’s hard to talk about what the game is like, because it’s multiplayer. Your results are going to vary. It really depends on which server you join. I’ve seen some really good, really orderly servers, and I’ve seen ones that have descended into chaos. On one server, I somehow managed (by entering a door that lead to an uncoded room) to end up stuck in a negative world with invisible walls and had to be rescued by either an admin or a moderator, I don’t remember which.

Earlier that same night, on a different server, I worked as a trucker until someone tried to blow up my truck and shipment with satchel charges. I got the shipment in, but now my truck was on fire, so I did the only logical thing: I floored it and tried to run the bastard down. And after that failed, I got the hell out of there.

And that’s why I don’t support Ron Paul.

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