Review: Saints Row 2

February 17, 2012

Y’know, sometimes it’s difficult to review games. Sure, it’s easy when games are good, and it’s also pretty easy, if a little painful, when games are bad. And then you get games that are kind of indescribable.

This is one of these games.

Let’s face the facts here, any review of Saints Row 2 is going to eventually bring up Grand Theft Auto. The games are very similar, and reviewers really don’t like to do a lot of writing or research. So  Random Modern Sandbox Game comes out? Compare it to Grand Theft Auto. This is GTA4 on crack. This is what would have resulted if Rockstar NYC had given Rockstar Toronto no limits beside no superpowers and no visible nudity, and a budget of infinity dollars.

The character creation mode is possibly the most insane part of the game. Yes, there are explosions, and the explosions are insane. But with the character creation, you can make practically anything, from the hideous…

Dongs "REO" Speedwagon

…to even your favorite movie characters!

I personally made the Joker, a decision which was bore fruit about half way through the Brotherhood missions. There’s a mission, “Waste Not, Want Not”, in which you have to steal some toxic waste from a power plant so you can put it into the tattoo ink that the Brotherhood leader is going to use. If you take that to a logical extreme, say hijacking a tanker full of toxic waste and putting it in all tattoo ink, that could well be something straight out of a Batman comic.

Or a few missions later, where you take his girlfriend hostage at a bank. You shove her in the trunk of her car, drive it to the arena where he’s driving in a monster truck rally, and park it so that he runs it over with her still in the trunk. And then, my Joker character did the whole “slow clap” thing as he steps out of the shadows, tosses the Brotherhood leader his girlfriend’s keys, and calmly walks away.

Oh, no, don’t run off to find a clip. I can embed it.

Now, I believe I mentioned explosions. Yes, dear friends, there are explosions. Frequent, magnificent explosions. Particularly the Mayhem activity. At the third level of the activity, you get a rocket launcher with infinite rockets.

I have a secret to share with all of you: I cannot be trusted with an infinite cache of rockets. Because I will, despite being a concept of extending on forever rather than a real number, try to fire infinite rockets.

But, as with everything, it’s not perfect. The driving system works great if you’re looking to dick around, but it can get a little annoying when you’re trying to get from point A to point B and you get t-boned. And…actually, no. That’s all I got. Go find a copy. It should run about twenty bucks, there is so much meat, and it is so damn rich.


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