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Review: Star Trek Online

February 8, 2012

Space…the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Annapolis. Its continuing mission mission: to explore strange new worlds, the seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before…

On the off chance it’s not obvious by now, I am a huge nerd. I happen to be one of that rarest breed of nerd: the kind able to reconcile a love for Star Wars and a love for Star Trek. It probably stems from my father being able to do the same, but that’s not important right now – We’re here to talk Star Trek Online.

Star Trek Online went free-to-play on January 17th, and I stumbled across it last Friday. I started installing it, which was in itself no small task – three and a half gigs of data took about two hours, plus the half-hour to install – but by one Saturday morning, I was ready to play. I played until four AM. I know this because I had Adult Swim on and The Brak Show started.

I’m just going to come out and say it – I love this game. There are three science fiction vehicles I have wanted – Star Wars: Rogue Squadron let me fly the Millennium Falcon, a mod for Vice City let me drive a time-traveling Delorean, and Star Trek Online lets me tool around in a Constitution Class Heavy Cruiser.

Buuut…if you really want to nitpick, the mission structure suffers from some of the same problems that a lot of the original series – namely, that the main characters (in this case, the player as opposed to the Enterprise captained by either Kirk or Picard) are apparently the only Federation starship in the quadrant who can handle the situation, despite the fact that you just passed a dozen ships to get to the last mission, some of the battles are just insane (just as an example, a Constitution-class taking on an enemy capital ship with double its hull strength and the ability to teleport in other enemy ships while the Constitution’s allies play grab-ass in the background), and occasionally the weapons won’t fire, but that seems to be more of a lag issue because it only happens in the presence of a crapload of human players.

These are all minor issues, evidenced by the fact that Star Trek Online is the reason I haven’t posted anything in a while. I’ve been in the Beta Quadrant with my Constitution Class.

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