The History Channel needs to stop.

March 7, 2011

If you’re an adherent of the ancient astronaut theory, you might want to stop reading right about now.

This weekend, I was watching the History Channel and I feel the question has to be asked: What is up with all the ancient astronaut stuff recently? It seems like every time I turn on History, I’m looking at von Däniken and those like him who believe that all the technological achievements of the ancient world are the works of benevolent aliens. And brother, that shit don’t fly, for one simple reason. They don’t give concrete evidence.

Everything they bring in support of this hypothesis is circumstantial. They cite passages of the bible which are open to other interpretations, and they claim that UFOs are the explanation for biblical accounts that could easily be explained by other meteorological phenomena.

But that’s not the thing that really bothers me. No, what really gets under my skin is how they casually dismiss the ability of these ancient civilizations to create any of the technologically advanced artifacts or monumental works of architecture that they did without the help of  aliens or supernatural beings. It’s this sense of superiority to these ancient people, because of all the advance technology that we have, and then they discover all the amazing things that they did without the help of our technology, and their minds can’t take it. So they come up with the idea that aliens gave the ancients help, all in the service of feeling superior to them.

And the History Channel needs to stop validating these people. With every episode of Ancient Aliens that airs, with every person who watches, these people get to feel that their superiority is right when this is not the case.



  1. “Everything they bring in support of this hypothesis is circumstantial.” Well asshole some of us are interested seeing as how the theory of evolution circumstantial. And you cant call bullshit on that bro. weve been barkin up the evolution theory tree for over a century. Without a transition species the whole thing is just as “circumstantial” as what these people are proposing. But you know what its interesting to hear about something new being put the table. and btw the history channel filters its shit its all watered down. the history channel wont let them air the more evident discoveries.

    • When, exactly, did I bring up evolution? I did a CTRL+F search, and the first time evolution is mentioned is your comment. Ohhh, I see now. You’re trying to be dismissive of my comments about the ancient astronaut theory by comparing it to evolution. Yeah, that’s not going to fly.

      See, evolution has fossils and DNA similarities, while the ancient astronaut theory has devices and systems that, while complex, could easily be devised by ancient civilizations. Oh, and evolution is actually being taught in science classrooms, while there are no mentions of ancient astronauts in history class.

      So if you actually think about it, the ancient astronaut theory is a lot like the creationism theory: generally poorly received and really pissy about it.

      Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to making fun of awful games and movies to make up to dozens of people laugh.

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